Inspiration | Series | The Table

England! A life (a little) disrupted…

I spent my 33rd birthday in England.
With friends, at a wine bar, then out later for dancing.
33 is the Jesus year. I remember the year approaching, feeling excited, overwhelmed, and completely shocked that I was actually 33. Already. How did that happen? Life- it just goes and goes and turns and sometimes we find ourself in spaces we never would have foresaw.

I moved to England a month later, with the intention of stepping off the hamster wheel for a few months and taking a much needed sabbatical. I love LA so much, but sometimes perspective comes when we remove ourselves from things, and I didn’t even know how tired I actually was. England is my favorite country in the world, and when the opportunity came for me to take a few months break and live with friends abroad, I intuitively knew it was the best choice. Unforeseen, completely unexpected, but completely necessary.

I have a life unforeseen. I was the girl who said out loud, “I’ll get married later in life- like 25” and I actually meant it! I thought  25 was late! Now, I find myself at 33, so overwhelmed at how perspective can change.

Most things in my life that have happened have been unforeseen- and in many ways they’ve been the best gifts. Moving to California, the friends I have, the jobs I’ve taken and travels I’ve been able to do. These unforeseen, unplanned, curve balls seem to be the greatest things in my life.

It’s funny how grass is always greener, and how it’s only in the practice of gratitude that we find ourselves at peace.

I moved to LA when I was 28, and started a dinner party company. I had this intention of bringing people into a safe space of connection, and food happens to be the most amazing way to create space.

Through the dinner party world, I began relationships with food bloggers, stylists and publications that asked me to cook and style with them. Some of my work was printed, I cooked for a few celebrities, and in the nature of LA, I got thrown into the foodie world quite quickly.

With all of the styling and cooking I was doing, I was getting tons of content. And you guys – really beautiful content.

Have you ever looked at someone’s social life and allowed envy or jealousy to overtake you? If you have, then welcome. You’re just like the rest of us.

That’s the funny thing though. These images you see, portrayed to us in perfectly curated form, are only partly real. And we all know this, but somehow, this flood of social imagery can take a massive toll on our sense of gratitude for our own lives.

I distinctly remember a Friday night a few months back where I was posting a photo of a beautiful charcuterie board layered with abundance. Various cheeses and meats, bountiful vegetables; it was gorgeous. But while I was posting the photo, I was actually home in my bed, alone on a Saturday night, drinking an entire bottle of sauvignon blanc and eating leftover movie theater popcorn. And you know what? I sat in my bed, stalking other people’s socials, realizing how many people were in love and I wasn’t, and it caused me to have a full on breakdown about being single. TRUE STORY.

There are so many studies about the power of gratitude. But as we move deeper into a social age, and we have more and more access to visuals of what other people have, it can become more difficult to be present in our own lives, soaking up the beauty that surrounds our own circumstances.

This move to England was a massive, unexpected disruption for me. I’m a bit over a month in, and it’s remarkable how much the stillness has caused disequilibrium. It’s unfamiliar. It’s awkward. I’m still like “WHAT AM I DOING.”

But regardless of the lack of accomplishment or productivity I feel here, I trust that it’s purposed. That choosing to slow down (especially for me as a 7 on the Enneagram!!) is necessary and has the potential to birth the best things in me. That choosing to see the beauty around me, to name it, and to practice being present and grateful is both necessary and the greatest gift.

For one, I’ve been able to cook (and ENJOY it) much more. I’ve been able to write. I’ve been able to reflect. I’ve been able to unravel a bit. So thanks for coming along the journey. I hope to share lots of it with you.


PS: This little toast has become a standard in my routine here:
2 slices ciabatta
2 Tbsp pesto
1 cup sautéed spinach
2 oz burrata
pine nuts
Drizzle of olive oil

Toast your bread. Spread each slice with pesto, then top with spinach, burrata, pine nuts, and drizzle with olive oil. A slow (but quick) lunch served!




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